The Story Continues......

*this is about week 6 or 7*

Alright, so, August was tough. I was nauseous 24/7. However, I also ate everything in sight and gained an impressive 17 lbs in about 3 weeks, it was nice to have carbs back in my life.

I also turned 25 in August, definitely different from the last decade or so of birthdays haha. Your dad and I had a sleepover under the stars and there were so many shooting stars. It was one of the nicest nights out ever and this is what I woke up to in the morning:

Around the end of the month I got an opportunity to go with your dad to the doctors and we got to hear your heart beat. At 9 weeks, thats pretty special. I was so happy to hear your little heart beating away IN me. Its a very weird and wonderful feeling. A week later I got to have a dating ultrasound and see your tiny self. You had arms and legs and jumped around having what looked like, frankly, little seizures. But beautiful seizures tiny Spike <3 Here you are:

September

So, after our nice trip up the lake I went back to work but that didn't last long. They weren't too excited that I was pregnant and planning on leaving to move up to Powell River. I took the time to go spend with your dad up in the Riv. We got a chance to head out fishing:

However it wasn't all sunshine and smiles. Long story short we decided we weren't right for each other. I was full of those wonderful pregnancy horomones and I think that he was a little scared, you're going to be the biggest responsibility we've ever faced. And it can be a little daunting. All I know is that I tried my hardest to make it work. I have always wanted to have a perfect nuclear family, it was one of the most important things that I wanted to get out of life. However, I think that I will do just fine on my own and I will always do everything in my power to make you the most happiest little elephanty in the world

*this is probably 10 weeks, around the time of the ultrasound*

The Beginning

So, I have always admired friend who kept blogs for their kids to read one day and just to keep everyone up to date on all the changes that are going on. I have been hesitant to keep one as up to this point all my feelings have definitely not been sunshine and roses. However, after talking to many people in my (ever expanding) "support circle" all I keep hearing is how normal this is. So, no matter what tiny Spike/Elephanty growing inside me, if you're ever reading this, know that although for the first little bit with everything that was going on, even if I wasn't always completely overwhelmed with excitement, no matter what, I could never imagine not having you. You have always been loved, and if not planned, you've been wanted. And you gave me an excuse to eat carbs again :P

So, I think what I will do since we're already 14 weeks in is try and recap the first few months. I know that it isn't your conventional boy meets girl, first comes love then comes marriage then comes baby in the baby carriage, but since when have I been the conventional type?

I wish that I had a crystal ball so I could see the future and know how this will all work (I hate not knowing, seriously, and I hate that thing aren't fair but, alas, we all must grow up ad adjust to this less then ideal world), but for now, I will just give the perspective from today, since thats the best I can do.

So, you were made, to the best of mt knowledge, on Canada Day weekend. Yay, how patriotic of me :) Despite anything that may go on between your father and I (and maybe to remind myself one day too) know that at this time and for the last year him and I had been working on getting along outside of just the physical things, there were plans for me to move closer to him and any free weekend him or I had we would always try and be together. As the ferry between the island and the riv wasn't very convenient one day your dad even came over on his own little boat to get me. He's pretty handsome and has the cutest dog:

We talked all day on google chat about anything and everything and I can honestly say at this point that there has never been another man in my life I would have rather made a child with. Despite all the confusion, anger, hurt, fear whatever else is going on with him right now you should know that he is amazing. Before this he was always there for me, usually just to explain whatever it was I couldn't understand or to tell me how to do something or whatever, he's very good at the practical things.

Anyways, it was summer and a glorious time. I don't think that there were any big changes the first month, I was super fit and had just lost a bunch of weight and had an incredible 6 pack and fit into a size zero and had an amazing man I was trying to plan a future with.  And then I peed on a stick near the end of july. Man did things change.

Seriously, Spike, I love you but these were some hard earned "before" pictures

I'm going to go through some texts, appt schedlues and google chats to try and refresh my brain in the next litte bit but I am glad I started this....

To Be Continued......