I have a cold. Just your average cold, nothing too terrible. However, not allowed to take anything for it.
I. Hate. Life.
I am horrible at being sick. It's uncomfortable and I feel gross and I just want to stay in bed curled up with tea and plenty of neo citron and nyquil.
Instead, I am working 12 hour shifts inside the entrance to the biggest Walmart in Canada. Directly in front of four sets of double automatic doors that are constantly opening and closing and frigid bursts of wind come in. I am freezing, it is supppperrrrrrrrrrr loud and Walmart clientele aren't exactly cream of the crop. Un medicated. Awesome. Oh and in case that wasnt bad enough they are building condos about 100 feet away so the sounds of cranes and welding and jack hammers also echoes around the cavernous cement cart area where my lovely kiosk is located.
Honestly, I got hired to work in an office and then they decided they wanted me where I am now.... I am counting down the days until I can go on mat leave...... Less then 4 months to go.......
That's enough bitching for the day.
One last thing to end on a positive note. I love my cousin. He has made so many positive life changes lately and it is so nice to have my happy, healthy buddy back. I am so incredibly thankful for everything he does to make my life easier. He makes me a plate when he makes dinner so I won't have to cook when I get home. He comes over just to unload my groceries so I don't have to carry heavy things. And tonight, best of all, he is coming to do my dishes so I don't have to keep ignoring them and eating cereal out of tupperware (which I am also getting low on now lol). I love you D. You're going to be the best Uncle EVER!
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Thursday, 20 October 2011
4 Months
* 17 weeks*
Alright so, after my last rant I figure it's time to catch up on what's been going on with you and all that. I have been a little lax in keeping up with this blog. So, heres a rundown of the last few weeks, some highs, some lows and all that jazz.
Hmm.... Where to start.
Lets start with things I am incredibly thankful for these days. I am thankful that I have a family who is uber excited for you. Your aunties are ecstatic about you and love you so much already. They make me happy just hearing them talk about you.
*that's me and your aunty r comparing bellayyys haha*
I am NOT thankful for heartburn. It sucks. I had never experienced it pre pregnancy and I hope it goes away. All I keep thinking is if it is this bad now how much worse will it get over the next 5 months. Ughhhhhhhh. I also am not loving the not being able to sleep through the night thing. Again, how much worse is this going to get. It used to be that I would think "oh, gotta go pee, it can wait til....." NO, there is no waiting now. When I have to go I have to go, at least once during the night too. Other disadvantage, I can no longer bend at the waist without immediately feeling like I am going to pass out. Awesome. Laying flat, even better, instant heartburn AND the pass out feeling. Hello extra pillows.
I can feel you moving more definitely now. I was driving home last night and had my first OH moment. Took me a second to realize that it was YOU! Just reminding me that you're in there and alive. I am so looking forward to real kicks and such (until they start to hurt, then I will be complaining about them haha) and a real bellay not this beer gut thing. You seem to love citrus fruits, although they cause unbelievable heart burn I'm on an aprx 5 a day mandarin orange habit with a few kiwis and maybe a pineapple thrown in too. Yeah I know, no wonder I have heartburn. Your dad and I are also trying to be nice to each other. We finally talked which is good. Baby steps I guess. I bought an angel care monitor so you don't die of SIDS. Another YAY! Thank God for some of the miracles of modern technology. Mostly my iPhone but some other stuff is cool too lol.
The leaves are all changing and Halloween is coming (hurry up and GROW so I can paint my belly like a pumpkin!) and then winter. And then you. Weird to think that I am almost half done growing you. It seems like for every emotion I am feeling right now there is a conflicting one. Excited and Nervous. Like time is crawling and like it is speeding by. Happy but Sad. Confident and Insecure.
I guess that is what being a parent is all about.........
Not Fat.....Yet
So, it is becoming increasingly difficult to fit into my pants. Well, actually, I can fit in all of them still, even the size 0's (Thank you part lycra/spandex jeans) but they do NOT do up. Well, actually, they do. Very uncomfortably but sometimes I still do them up just to prove I can.
I went out the other day with the intention of finding comfy clothes. Preferably made of cotton, soft and stretchy. I went into a store saw a plethora of sweatpants and grabbed my usual small and xsmall thinking worst case scenario I would be a medium. Wrong. I can't even get the small over my thighs.
Meltdown time.
It doesn't help that the store is staffed by two tweenage twigs who haven't even said hello (probably because I'm fat) and that the stall also makes me feel like a giant. So, as is the obvious solution to this problem, I start crying. I figure I might as well find out just how bad this situation is and I go grab a medium and large size. As the teeny bopper (who has probably just turned 12 and had an equal number ofsexual partners, slut)says snarkily "Ohh they don't fit? Would you like me to see if there are any EXTRA LARGES around?"
Eff you bitch. I got this.
So, the large fits. I buy them only because they are INCREDIBLY soft and stretchy and made of cotton AND 70% off. I slink out after asking for their names (Alissa and Briahhhhhhna) just in case I feel like complaining later.
A friend of mine K, comes by to bring me MY VERY FIRST GIFT FOR YOU!!!!!!! (BTW it is the softest cutest blanket ever ever ever with an owl on it <3 thanks lady) and I tell her about how I am obviously now a fat cow since large sized pants barely fit and I am only 4 months in. And then she makes my day even better by explaining I was in a store designed for TEENAGERS! Most people my age don't fit into these clothes at allll. Screw you ardene's!!!!
So, moral of the story, I am not fat......YET!
I went out the other day with the intention of finding comfy clothes. Preferably made of cotton, soft and stretchy. I went into a store saw a plethora of sweatpants and grabbed my usual small and xsmall thinking worst case scenario I would be a medium. Wrong. I can't even get the small over my thighs.
Meltdown time.
It doesn't help that the store is staffed by two tweenage twigs who haven't even said hello (probably because I'm fat) and that the stall also makes me feel like a giant. So, as is the obvious solution to this problem, I start crying. I figure I might as well find out just how bad this situation is and I go grab a medium and large size. As the teeny bopper (who has probably just turned 12 and had an equal number ofsexual partners, slut)says snarkily "Ohh they don't fit? Would you like me to see if there are any EXTRA LARGES around?"
Eff you bitch. I got this.
So, the large fits. I buy them only because they are INCREDIBLY soft and stretchy and made of cotton AND 70% off. I slink out after asking for their names (Alissa and Briahhhhhhna) just in case I feel like complaining later.
A friend of mine K, comes by to bring me MY VERY FIRST GIFT FOR YOU!!!!!!! (BTW it is the softest cutest blanket ever ever ever with an owl on it <3 thanks lady) and I tell her about how I am obviously now a fat cow since large sized pants barely fit and I am only 4 months in. And then she makes my day even better by explaining I was in a store designed for TEENAGERS! Most people my age don't fit into these clothes at allll. Screw you ardene's!!!!
So, moral of the story, I am not fat......YET!
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
How you were introduced to the world
So, I have this wonderful, amazing, wise, supportive just unbelievably awesome friend, D. She has kept me sane through a lot of this and reassured me over and over that what i am feeling/thinking/whatever is NORMAL. Honestly just the best thing a pregnant girl could ask for. And, she was the one who made me realize that despite the less then perfect situation around your conception and such thateventually the world will be able to tell i'm pregnant and it will be wierder if you just show up and i never said anything. So, fot thanksgiving i finally decided (was forced :P) to announce you! And here's how it went:
"I'm thankful for turkey AND a bun in the oven and an excuse to eat for two. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone"
And thats is how you, baby elephanty, were introduced to the general public. <3
Thanks again D, you really are fantastic. Oh, and Baby Spike, PLEASE be as cute as H!
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!
Well, tiny one, today is your first Thanksgiving and we spent it working, 12 hours, 12 looooooong boring hours. Let me tell you, I spent a lot of time looking at baby stuff and you are going to be ex-pen-sive. Good thing I love you ridiculous amounts, and so does the rest of your extended family. I'm sure you will be well taken care of.
You definitely have got the hang of this moving thing, or I'm just getting used to feeling it. I discovered that you jump around when I drink something really cold. Other then that it's usually when I get home from work and lay on the couch that I can feel your fluttering around.
So, funny story about your first near death experience (and you aren't even out of the womb yet, bad mommy):
The other night I was hanging out with A and we were just watching Jersey Shore (please never be a guido/guidette- but if you're a girl go for an Italian guy ;) ). We had gone outside and then A laid down and I went to go outside again about 10 minutes later to grab something annnnnd..... someone had tied the door handles shut, FROM THE OUTSIDE. So, logically, the two of us freaked out. Well, first we called anyone we knew who may have been playing a prank and everyone denied it. A lives in a rural area so it wasn't very likely that it was a prank. We then kicked into fear overdrive and started calling all the BOYS we knew to come and rescue us! Alas, at 11pm on a Thursday night all the boys we knew were drunk (Thirsty Thursdays you know).
A lives in a big house (with no lights on at the time) and with the front door tied shut
and the garage door unlocked (however, we've seen horror movies, bad things happen in big dark, scary, cluttered, DARK garages, we weren't going near it)we started thinking worse case scenario. We were going to die a horrible death at the hands of a sadistic sociopath. Of course now A's phone is dead and mine is close to it. So, A grabbed a cement dog statue off the mantle and I had a fork. We turned on all the lights we could reach and kept an eye on the loft area up top and stayed in a corner knowing FOR SURE the killer was about to make his prescence known. I finally got a hold of my knight in shining armor (who happens to be the prettiest most jacked man alive) who got out of bed at almost midnight and agreed to come "rescue" us. He had a long drive from Victoria to Mill Bay though.
We remained huddled in the corner until R arrived with a knife, baton and flashlight (seriously, my hero). He thought we were absolutely ridiculous but agreed to check through the entire house, closets and under the beds included. After determining there was no one in the house and mocking us a fair bit he went home and A and I decided to go to my house to get my things for a sleepover and a charger for our phones since A left hers at work, OH and to load up on weapons since this murdering sociopath was still on the loose. Before you ask, a hammer was A's weapon of choice, mine, a knife. We made it back to her house still scared poop-less and went to bed around 3 am.
The next day A found out it WAS one of her friends which was a relief, but not after A had a major panic attack that resulted in a trip to the hospital. However, there is a good side to this tale. The whole time I was terrified you were moving almost constantly, it was so neat! Even though it was fear/adrenaline that got you moving it got me so excited for the days when I can feel you move more often and more noticably!
Anyways, I have wasted enough company time now, strange to reminisce about how much my escapades have changed. Can't wait for next year when you're actually out of me to eat some Thanksgiving dinner of your own, and we can be with family instead of at work :)
You definitely have got the hang of this moving thing, or I'm just getting used to feeling it. I discovered that you jump around when I drink something really cold. Other then that it's usually when I get home from work and lay on the couch that I can feel your fluttering around.
So, funny story about your first near death experience (and you aren't even out of the womb yet, bad mommy):
The other night I was hanging out with A and we were just watching Jersey Shore (please never be a guido/guidette- but if you're a girl go for an Italian guy ;) ). We had gone outside and then A laid down and I went to go outside again about 10 minutes later to grab something annnnnd..... someone had tied the door handles shut, FROM THE OUTSIDE. So, logically, the two of us freaked out. Well, first we called anyone we knew who may have been playing a prank and everyone denied it. A lives in a rural area so it wasn't very likely that it was a prank. We then kicked into fear overdrive and started calling all the BOYS we knew to come and rescue us! Alas, at 11pm on a Thursday night all the boys we knew were drunk (Thirsty Thursdays you know).
A lives in a big house (with no lights on at the time) and with the front door tied shut
and the garage door unlocked (however, we've seen horror movies, bad things happen in big dark, scary, cluttered, DARK garages, we weren't going near it)we started thinking worse case scenario. We were going to die a horrible death at the hands of a sadistic sociopath. Of course now A's phone is dead and mine is close to it. So, A grabbed a cement dog statue off the mantle and I had a fork. We turned on all the lights we could reach and kept an eye on the loft area up top and stayed in a corner knowing FOR SURE the killer was about to make his prescence known. I finally got a hold of my knight in shining armor (who happens to be the prettiest most jacked man alive) who got out of bed at almost midnight and agreed to come "rescue" us. He had a long drive from Victoria to Mill Bay though.
We remained huddled in the corner until R arrived with a knife, baton and flashlight (seriously, my hero). He thought we were absolutely ridiculous but agreed to check through the entire house, closets and under the beds included. After determining there was no one in the house and mocking us a fair bit he went home and A and I decided to go to my house to get my things for a sleepover and a charger for our phones since A left hers at work, OH and to load up on weapons since this murdering sociopath was still on the loose. Before you ask, a hammer was A's weapon of choice, mine, a knife. We made it back to her house still scared poop-less and went to bed around 3 am.
The next day A found out it WAS one of her friends which was a relief, but not after A had a major panic attack that resulted in a trip to the hospital. However, there is a good side to this tale. The whole time I was terrified you were moving almost constantly, it was so neat! Even though it was fear/adrenaline that got you moving it got me so excited for the days when I can feel you move more often and more noticably!
Anyways, I have wasted enough company time now, strange to reminisce about how much my escapades have changed. Can't wait for next year when you're actually out of me to eat some Thanksgiving dinner of your own, and we can be with family instead of at work :)
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Conflicted
You know how most new moms are just bursting with excitement to share their news with the world? Well, I have that too. On the other hand with this being such an awkward and unresolved issue between me and the other contributor of 23 chromosomes that make you you I dont think its appropriate. Ugh. It's like for every good/exciting/happy feeling there is another side always, almost like the "dark" side. Reminding me that for now its easier to keep it hidden.
I just want to share all these new exciting things with the world.
In other news. I am getting really excited to meet with the midwives (and the doctor I guess lol) next week. Becauuuuuuuse then I will find out about the best way to find out what kind of tiny elephant you are.
You're a great silver lining to all the problems that have arisen out of this situation :)
I just want to share all these new exciting things with the world.
In other news. I am getting really excited to meet with the midwives (and the doctor I guess lol) next week. Becauuuuuuuse then I will find out about the best way to find out what kind of tiny elephant you are.
You're a great silver lining to all the problems that have arisen out of this situation :)
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
Expansion
well, it is october now. i am a week away from four months...... almost halfway done spike! about four days ago i came out of the movie theater and realized that instead of being a nice layer of squishy blubber around my middle there was a nice hard bump. i had a bit of a freak out for a bit, thinking something was wrong but TGFG: thank god for google. and iPhone's haha. I quickly determined that this was normal. and thennnnnn two days later i felt you move for the first time! it feels very strange. i can also poke at you and make you squirm away. it's pretty much my favourite past time at the moment haha.
this is definitely the coolest thing so far and also the hardest. it's really hard for me right now not having your dad by my side. even worse that he doesn't even care enough to call/email/phone/text or anything else to see how you are. i hear that for dads it isnt real until they hold you. however, everyday it gets more real to me and all i want is someone to share it with. and not just all my family and friends who are overjoyed to hear of all your developments. this time they just arent cutting it.
i can definitely say that this is the hardest week so far, everything just seems a little too overwhelming to me at the moment. however, i just finished 4 12 hour shifts in a row so maybe i am just too tired to process this. i will say that i am sure that this is going to get much better after a couple good nights of sleep and some real food. you seem to be in the mood for home made soup or pasta or just anyting home cooked and time consuming. i also have big plans for thanksgiving with a friend. so there is lots to look forward to. keep on kickin' little spike. i love you and the reminder that you are there and counting on me being strong and healthy and happy. i'll keep on truckin' too. xo
this is definitely the coolest thing so far and also the hardest. it's really hard for me right now not having your dad by my side. even worse that he doesn't even care enough to call/email/phone/text or anything else to see how you are. i hear that for dads it isnt real until they hold you. however, everyday it gets more real to me and all i want is someone to share it with. and not just all my family and friends who are overjoyed to hear of all your developments. this time they just arent cutting it.
i can definitely say that this is the hardest week so far, everything just seems a little too overwhelming to me at the moment. however, i just finished 4 12 hour shifts in a row so maybe i am just too tired to process this. i will say that i am sure that this is going to get much better after a couple good nights of sleep and some real food. you seem to be in the mood for home made soup or pasta or just anyting home cooked and time consuming. i also have big plans for thanksgiving with a friend. so there is lots to look forward to. keep on kickin' little spike. i love you and the reminder that you are there and counting on me being strong and healthy and happy. i'll keep on truckin' too. xo
*15 weeks*
PS- I think that watching wedding shows is definitely not helping haha. try to kick me when i watch them so i remember they really arent helping.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)